Written In Paper
by Konsui's Little Brother
Summary: Kazuma Kuwabara is always underlooked and made fun of. This story has his deepest thoughts on anything and everything that crosses his mind, all written down in the diary that Yusuke gives him for a prank birthday gift.
1. The Truth Is In The Book

Written In Paper

Chapter One: The Truth Is In The Book

Diary,

Guess what? You were just given to me for my nineteenth birthday. Urameshi was snickering up a storm when he handed it to me. Joke's on him though, I already have a diary. 'Course, he doesn't know that.

In my other diary I've got, you know, general diary stuff. Stuff about my fights, my pals, school, and as Urameshi would so kindly put it, 'mushy crap'.

This time I'm gonna write down all the little mind-rants I normally just ignore. Let me tell you, I've got plenty of 'em. I mean I'm a nineteen year-old human on a team that has me, two demons, and a half-demon. Any one in my situation would, am I right? I am.

And you know, the other guys don't seem to realize this next bit, I have a life outside of missions! Surprising I know.

Anyways, I'm so fed up with this 'I'm a demon. I'm pretty and powerful and you're not' crap. So what?! I might not be a demon and I'm not 'pretty' but let me tell you something, those guys wouldn't have gotten anywhere without me. And no, I'm not just saying that to make myself feel better.

I'll tell you why I'm saying that too. First though...If you're one of the guys and you're reading this, ha-ha, put it back and you can hold it over me later. If you're Urameshi, Hiei, Kurama or anyone else...Put this down, get out of my room, keep your mouth shut, and I might not sick my cat on you.

So let me start at the beginning.

First off, Urameshi wouldn't have been brought back to life without me. Wanna know why? Because he used my body to tell Keiko that he was. It was my house that Keiko took Urameshi's body to when his house bunt down. Do you have any idea how hard that was to explain to my sister?! 'Hey, sis. This is Urameshi, remember we went to his visual a while a go? He's dead right now but he'll be back later.'

Than there was the whole 'Rando thing'. I would like to point out that Urameshi's first two fights were won by pure luck. Now I'm not playing the pity card either. I know that I got lucky in my first fight. I also know that if I'd had any clue about what Rando was I'd have done better. Oh well, a fight's a fight that doesn't bother me to much. What does bother me is the fact that it was me who gave Urameshi the boost he needed to beat Rando. You know what I get for it? I get to go to P.T. because half the bones in my body were broken.

Then we went and fought the Saint Beasts. I volunteered for that one but they wouldn't have gotten through it without me. I was the one that beat Byakko. Twice. Sure they probably could have gotten rid of him eventually but by then the human world would have been destroyed. And then there's the little fact that if I hadn't been there to give Urameshi half of my life-energy he'd be dead.

Then we all went off to rescue Yukina. I went into that one willingly too. So we go through all their stupid fights, me leading the way because I can sense Yukina, and I become a human spear. I didn't get anything for that one either.

After that was the Dark Tournament. Let me tell you, I didn't want to go to that one. I'm a human going up ageist a bunch of high-leveled demons in a stadium filled with thousands of other demons and I was pretty much fighting for the human race. That wasn't fun. The fights were hard and painful and I still wake up with the scars from those injuries hurting. So then I have to practically commit suicide to give Urameshi the boost he needed to beat Togoro. It's not like I wanted to die!

I'm not even getting into the stuff that happened after that right now. I'm just not.

Anyways, I have to go on some stupid mission, that really isn't my job. I'm sure I'll have more to write when I get back.

-Kazuma Kuwabara


	2. The Lies Of A Fox

AN: I want to thank the people that have reviewed, favorited, and put this story on alert.

Angel Of The Midnight Sea: Thank you for favoriting this story.

Callikitty5: Thank you for reviewing.

I will update this story as often as I can.

* * *

Diary,

I've finally returned from the nine day mission that I really hadn't had anything to do with but had to go on anyways.

So this time I'm gonna rant about Kurama. Yep. Kurama. Now most people would find nothing wrong with him. He's smart, kind, good-looking, strong...The list could go on for pages. Get this though, he's got more bad things on his list than he does good.

Let me give you a sample. I'll start at the beginning with him too.

Now, most people forget this but Kurama used to be Yoko and Yoko wasn't a good guy. He was a cold-blooded killer and a master thief. In fact, he was known as the 'King Of Thieves' among demons. If that doesn't make you re-think him even just a little more...

Okay, I know he's reformed now but he wasn't when he got to the Human World. Did you know he planned on leaving Mrs. Minamino? Yep. He was going to let her raise him for ten years and then mysteriously vanish. How sweet is that?

Oh, another thing! He lies to her. Everyday. She had no idea that he's a demon. No clue that where he constantly disappears to. What sort of a son does that? Or any person? He could be killed on one of these missions and his mom'll think that he just ran away.

Wanna know something else? Back when we fought the Four Saint Beasts...Kurama and Hiei were only there because they were on probation. Not because they wanted to help save the human race and not because they wanted to help me or Urameshi.

I think that the two worst about Kurama though are these.

First, it doesn't matter what world we're in he still has fan-girls. I'm serious! Humans, demons, dead-things! They all love him!

And the other thing that I really hate about him is the way he talks. You're smarter than me, I get it! He rubs it in every time he opens his mouth! It's not just that either. It's the fact that he doesn't think I know what he means. And then he goes and hides the jabs at me with big words and comforting gestures. It's really irritating! I mean if you're gonna insult me, do it to my face.

Then there's the whole 'I know something important that you don't but I'm not going to say anything' deal. We're a team. Act like it. If you know something we don't, tell us! He's done it since the first day I met him and I'm sick of it.

There's more I could write but...I'm tired and I think my side's bleeding again.

-Kazuma Kuwabara


	3. You Can't Hug A Dragon

AN: First I want to apologize for how short this chapter is. It looked longer when I had it written in my notebook.

Second I want to thank Callikitty5, Graphospasm, and Death101-Fox Version for their reviews.

I also want to thank the three of them for putting this story on their favorites list and on alert. It really makes me happy to know that people like this story that much.

* * *

Diary,

Urameshi, Kurama and Hiei all left to train in the Demon World for a while so I get a little break. Isn't that nice of them? I'm being sarcastic here, just so you know. They ditched me. Left in the middle of the night. They had Keiko tell me while I was at school!

I don't know whether they thought that it was funny or whether it was too much effort to pick up the phone and call me. Either way it ticked me off. Wanna know what else ticks me off? Hiei. Ready for another rant? Too bad, I'm going to write it anyway.

So Hiei just makes me mad. I didn't like him when I first met him and I'm still not a big fan of his. Now I'm going to tell you why. He's cocky, belligerent, short-tempered, brutal, childish, ill-tempered, snotty, snarky...The list goes on and on, it would probably fill up all of these pages so I'm gonna stop there. I will however rant about him some more.

Okay, Hiei has lived here in the Human World for about five years, that's just since I've known him, and he still doesn't speak Japanese right! I don't mean proper either, I mean names. Like the fact that he still calls ice-cream 'sweet snow'. It's not that hard to learn the words of a new language. I should know, I'm trying to learn English.

Another thing, he thinks that I don't know that Yukina's his sister. I do. I've known for a while. No one had to tell me either. I'm not as stupid as everyone thinks I am, I'm just...Me. Some things are just a little harder for me to get. But anyways, Hiei thinks that he's protecting Yukina by not saying he's her brother. He's not. He's making her miserable. All she wants is to know who her brother is. I mean she really wants to know and I can't say anything to her.

There's also the fact that Hiei, like Kurama, is loved by everyone. News flash people! He's a blood-thirsty killer! Okay, so he's not anymore but her used to be. Personally I think he's still insane. I also think he needs to learn how to say 'thank you' because he evidently can't. At least he can't say it to me.

Another thing he can't seem to do is apologize. Like I wrote earlier, I've known Hiei for five years and I can't remember him ever say that he's sorry. Not. Once. Is it really that hard to say?

I've used enough pages up talking about Hiei. I'm gonna go feed Eikichi and than catch some shut eye.

-Kazuma Kuwabara


	4. The Truth In The Code

AN: Once again, a fairly short chapter. I almost deleted this chapter because I lost my plot-bunny half-way through writing it. ^.^' I didn't though because the order of his thoughts is already written up.

Now, on to my thanks...

I would like to thank Graphospasm, Callikitty5, Death101-Fox Version, and Brit for reviewing. You guys don't know how much of a boost that was.

* * *

Diary,

I swear if I hear one more person make a comment about my Honor Code, I'll punch them. I mean is it really that funny? I'm 19, you think it would've died down a bit after all these years wouldn't you? Nope. I think it's gotten worse. Now I have demons making nasty comments about it.

I wonder if they realize that Hiei has his own form of Honor Code? I've never heard any one mention it before so either they don't know about it or they're just to scared to say any thing.

Now my Code is longer than most people think but the four I'm insulted about the most are these. I don't hit girls. I don't back down from a fight. I don't break promises. I don't leave my friends to fight on their own. And I'm constantly gettin berated for it.

People. There's a reason I don't do those things. I know that it might seem odd to you but it means things to me.

I don't hit girls because my dad taught me not too, not because I'm 'chivalrous'. He didn't think it was right and neither do I. It's really that simple.

I don't back down from fights because I'm never fighting for myself. All those fights I'm constantly getting in, over half of them are because of other people.

Now I'm not saying that I don't like to fight. I do. I wouldn't fight so well if I didn't enjoy it at least a little. I'm just saying that if I did back down from fights I'd be letting other people, people I could have protected, get hurt. So I don't.

I don't break promises because I don't go around making them for stupid things. The promises I make are important. They're things that I have to keep, no matter what. I have people break their promises with me all the time and let me tell you, it's not fun. So I do my best not to.

The other thing I'm always gettin' made fun of for, and I don't get why this one's so funny, is that I don't leave my friends to fight on their own. I don't get how this one's even slightly amusing but every one thinks it is.

Now the reason I don't do this is simple. Would you want your friends to leave you alone while you fight someone strong? I didn't think so.

That's why I do the things the way I do. And guess what else? I'm not changin' just 'cause they don't like who I am or the way I act.

I'll write some more later, me and the guys are gonna have a game night at Kirishima's and I'm in charge of bringing the sodas.

-Kazuma Kuwabara


	5. Secrets Shared With A Sister

A/N: Okay, I know that this is an odd chapter but I wanted a chapter that was a little lighter than the my others and this is what I thought up. Before I put my standard 'thank you list' I would like to send you all over to Callikitty5's story. It's a really good one and I'm sure that she would be just as happy as I am to get your reviews, in fact I'm sure that she would be.

So now....Thank you Kuwabaramikey17, The Grimster, Mukurohieiforever, ~Ev, Brit, Callikitty5, Death101-Fox Version, and Graphospasm for reviewing.

Thank you Chocolateluvr13, Kuwabaramikey17, Death101-Fox Version, and Graphospasm for putting both my story and myself on alert.

And thank you too every that has put me on their favorites lists and just the ones that have read this story.

* * *

Diary,

So, I know I was complaining about the others ditching me last time but I have to say, I'm glad they're gone now. I'm not being mean or anything like that, it's just...

I've got a ghost. I mean I'm being haunted. Again. Yeah, that's right. I wrote 'again'. Ghosts attach themselves to me all the time.

In my oppinion it's because they know that I can see, hear, and feel them. Yep, I can feel them too. And I don't just mean energy, I feel that but I mean I that I can actually 'feel' them. It's really creepy...Actually it's down right terrifying.

I'll be all alone and suddenly something will grab me from behind, I'll spin around...And nothing will be there. It's not fun.

I was lucky this time, it's just an old ladies ghost. She's had me up for the past three nights 'cause she won't stop going on about her old life.

So now, I can't sleep 'cause I'm stuck listening to her talk about poodles that she used to own and Shizuru's stuck making two pots of coffee in the morning instead of just one. She's complaining about it a lot too.

It's sort of funny, I mean the team doesn't know that I can do anything besides sense spirits when I've been able to see, hear and feel them since I was a kid.

It was actually pretty hard growin' up. I mean Shizuru was, and still is, the only one I had to talk to. I'm still surprised that she didn't toss me out of the house or into the looney-bin.

Her spirit sense wasn't very strong back then so she didn't have much more to go on besides what I told her, which wasn't the least bit believable, and a small tingling feeling.

Gotta keep this in mind though, Shizuru isn't all 'peaches and cream'. In fact she's hardly ever sweet. Some examples...

She came to the Dark Tournament because she wanted 'another Kuwabara here so these demons know we're not all weaklings'. Isn't that sweet? I mean, I know she really came to watch me but...That comment just wasn't...

Oh, there's also the fact that when Urameshi was dead she made me give him my room. Yep. I had to sleep on the couch so that his dead body could have my bed. How's that right? Besides it not being fair it's really gross. I mean, who wants to sleep in the same bed that had a dead body in it? I didn't.

Her smoking's a pain too. She smokes all day! I'm serious! Last time I checked she had a whole pack a day. Despite the fact that I just told Urameshi I don't like ciggarrettes, I've actually never had one before. And that's why. I can't stand them.

Like I wrote earlier though, Shizuru has about the same amount of good points as she does bad, if not more.

I can't think of any one else that would have put up with me. I was always getting scared at night and would end up sleeping in her room instead of my own most of the time.

I guess that this entry was more talking than complaining but...It's what I felt like putting. I have to go though, the ghosts being a pain and I have to remind her that I don't know an Anatha. Who names there kid Anatha?!

-Kazuma Kuwabara


	6. The girls aren't alright

A/N: I'm just going to apologize in advance for this chapter, it's not very long or very good. The next one is probably not going to be any better but the one after it should be. This is the last pre-made chapter so the next few will take a bit longer to post.

I want to thank Death101- Fox Version, Ur-Alternative-Gurl, and KuwabaraMikey17 for their reviews.

I also want to send you all over to Callikitty5's story. It's really good and she would love your reviews just as much as I do.

* * *

Diary,

The ghost is gone, Shizuru and Atsuko are out of town, the team's still in Demon World, and the guys are all out doing seperate things, so I spent the day with the girls...

I had wanted to hang out at the temple, maybe get Master Genkai to help me make a new training routine, but I ended up gardening with Yukina and being drug around by Keiko. Not my idea of a fun day but I know that Keiko's upset over Urameshi not being here so I just sort of went along with it.

Keiko. Urameshi doesn't know how lucky he is to have her as his girlfriend. I mean she's smart and pretty and she is the only reason that he has any sort of an education. At all. He would have dropped out of school when he was fourteen if it wasn't for her.

Most girls -if they knew what you did what Urameshi did- wouldn't stand for him. They'd dump him, have the teacher fail him, and then have him sent to the mental ward or thrown in prison. Keiko hasn't. As long as he lets her know when he's leaving and as he promises to come back than she's fine with it. 'Least that's what she tells him. Really she's not.

Urameshi leaving scares her. Him quitting school scared her, made her angry too. She stuck by him though, she's still sticking by him and he doesn't get it. He doesn't get the fact that he's lucky to have her or the fact that one wrong move, one trip that he forgets to tell her about and he takes his time getting back from...She ain't gonna be waiting.

He's a lucky man to have her but he doesn't deserve her.

Yukina...The girl that was once the love of my life. Don't get me wrong, I still love her. I love just as much now as when I first saw her. I've just realized...

Yukina, the lovely Ice-Apparition that she is, is only in the Human World because she's looking for her brother. Her brother just happens to be Hiei. Even if Yukina understood what love meant here, which she doesn't, Hiei would fry me before I was able to tell her.

But she doesn't really know what love is. I mean she's really friendly and sweet and just great to be around but...Sometimes I think she'll always be that innocent girl that will never truly understand what 'love' is.

I still love her though. I mean she'll always have a special place in my heart even if I'm not chasing her around anymore.

Botan came by half-way through the day. It was originally just to let us know that Urameshi and the other two were on their way back from the Demon World, but she ended up eating lunch with us.

Botan's different from the others. Sure, she's just as pretty as everyone else In the Demon World and the Spirit World but she's still different from them. I'm not really sure how, she just is.

The others sorta over look her though. They're idiots like that. I mean she was awesome during the Saint Beast fights! Keiko, and the rest of the city, would be dead if she wasn't there. The Makai IInsects might have even gotten into the rest of the country, maybe even the rest of the world without her holding them off like she did.

She was really good during the trip to rescue Yukina too. The way she got us through that mine field was just plain cool.

Yeah, I know. I used to have a crush on her so the others could argue that it was the only reason I noticed, but dang'it! She helped save the world too! She should have been noticed and she should have been thanked for it!

I have to put this up now. Gotta be fully rested so I can pound Urameshi when he gets home.

-Kazuma Kuwabara


	7. Secrets Forever Untold

A/N: I know that this took a while to get up, and that it's just as short as all the others, but I hope that you guys still like it.

Don't forget to check out Callikitty5's story!

Thank you to Graphospasm, Callikitty5, Death101- Fox Version, KuwabaraMikey17, and The Grimster.

* * *

Diary,

Urameshi and the others got back last night. I caught Urameshi at his house, you know to find out why I didn't know about the mission, and guess what he told me? He said that they'd 'run out of time' to call me. What a load of bologny.

How could they not have had 'time' to get me? Last I checked you couldn't, atleast not with them having Hiei with 'em. But that's Urameshi for ya. He can't lie to save his life.

I think that's what I'll write about this time, not Urameshi's bad lying skills but being lied to. That happens to me a lot. At least, I'm always being left out of the loop.

Like at the Dark Tournament. The only reason that I'd found out Genkai was dead was because Aniki Togoro, the older brother of the guy who'd killed her, told me. In the middle of our fight. Not my friends. Not my sister, and she had known by then. My enemy. And he only told me because he thought it was funny that my friends hadn't told me.

And did you know that the only reason I know that Yukina is Hiei's sister is because I figured it out on my own? Yep. Hiei told Koenma and Botan. Koenma and Botan told Urameshi. Urameshi told Kurama and they all decided not to tell me. I don't know why, I just know that they still think I don't know.

Rando has a story like that too. Botan and Urameshi both knew that there was a demon there. Then when we were in the semi-finals, they had both figured out that I would fighting Rando. And they still didn't tell me. They let me go up against him without knowing what he was and then they were surprised when I lost as badly as I did.

Urameshi didn't tell me when he dropped out of school either. Sure, that might seem pety but we're suppossed to be best-friends. I found out about him being a drop-out when he hadn't shown up for a week, I hadn't heard from him either, and I brought him a get-well bento. I thought he was sick.

Urameshi's not the only one that keeps stuff from me though, Hiei and Kurama do too. I don't really expect Hiei to tell me anything but I haven't done anything to Kurama. And I don't want anyone coming off with, 'oh, he keeps stuff from everyone'. He doesn't tell me anything.

I could go on forever writing about things that I had to figure out on my own but I'm gonna end it here. I'm treating the guys, Okubo, Sawamura, and Kirishima, to the arcade and I still have to feed Eikichi.

-Kazuma Kuwabara


	8. Words That Hurt

A/N: I'm really sorry for th elapse in updating but I've been having family issues that came first. That's why this chspter is so short, I probably could have added more to it but....

Thank you to Callikitty5, The Grimster, KuwabaraMikey17, and Death101- Fox Version for all of your wonderful reviews.

Both Callikitty5 and The Grimster have really good stories that I highly recommend reading, both of them would also appreciate your reviews.

* * *

Diary,

It's been like four days since Urameshi and the others came back but I haven't really seen them. Not like I've seen much of anything but my bedroom though, I had this huge test that I was studying for.

I passed with 78%, which I think is a C, so...I guess that's good. I mean I used to really stink at English so that's pretty good...But I didn't pick this up to write about my grades in, even though they've got to do with this. I decided I'd use a few pages to complain about stupid people, and demons, and their stupid insults.

I get insulted all the time so you would think that I'd at least get to hear some creative ones right? Wrong. They're really boring and uncreative. In fact it's mostly just 'Oaf', 'Baka', 'KuwaBaka', and...Well, the only other one that comes to my mind right now is 'Girly-man'. Creative huh?

Lets start with the stupidest one. 'Girly-man'? Really? Come on! Like I'm the least bit girly! The insult itself shouldn't be anyone. I mean it shouldn't even be said by that one actor. Not even directed at Kurama, who is way more girly than I am.

And 'KuwaBaka'? Hieis's been around for hundreds of years, he should be able to come up with something more creative. I was being called Kuwabaka for years before he showed up. I mean it's not all that original or even hard to think up. You changed one letter in my name. Congratulations.

Baka's just as bad, it's just a standard insult. Every one knows it. Everyone calls everyone that. You would think that demons would be ashamed to use such a common, human insult. But no. They seem to think it's original.

And being called 'Oaf' just ticks me off. More than the others I mean, 'cause they're mostly just annoying. I mean, Urameshi and Hiei are the only two people that call me that which is stupid because, like I wrote earlier, Urameshi dropped out of school and Hiei's never been to any sort of school. I'm in college.

I wish I had more time to complain, them thinking I'm stupid really strikes a nerve, but I have to go make sure Shizuru doesn't burn down the house. She's trying to make some sort of a cake.

-Kazuma Kuwabara


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